“Bruce, the kidney stones are still an issue,” the urologist said, “But we are more concerned about a mass on your bladder.”

This was a few weeks before Christmas 2025, during my usual, routine 6 month ultrasound. More tests were called for but with the holidays coming up and my medicare coverage changing, the CT-scans and Cystoscopy were eventually scheduled for mid-January.

A follow-up test, a cystoscopy, two CT Scans, with and without contrast, confirmed there was a mass on my bladder.

I felt I was in limbo. A time of uncertainty. A time of distress as every day blood and blood clots appeared in my urine. It was emotionally draining. We prayed and asked for prayers. Except for our children and immediate family, we shared no information with anyone. At that point what do you say?

Before my first procedure (One of four of five, if I remember correctly. Often enough for me to know all the nurses names!) at the surgery center, Susan gave me a prayer card to read as I waited :

“As I turn my mind toward wholeness and well-being,
I heal. Streams of healing vitality are flowing in my body,
Mind, and spirit. The power within me
Is greater than any condition.”

And my Mantra was an interpretation of Joshua 1:9:

“I am strong.
I am courageous.
I am not afraid.
I am not discouraged.
For the Lord my God is with me.”

On February 2, the malignant mass was removed and tissue sample sent to pathology for results. During this procedure, a kidney stone was also to be removed, but could not be done because on excess blood in the area due to the bladder incision.

After this first procedure back on February 2 I was taken by ambulance to the hospital emergency room. I had pneumonia. My white cell count was high. An antibiotic was prescribed. I spent the night. Returned home at noon the next day.

I had some pain and discomfort. Urine was still pretty bloody, but I didn’t drink much water in the hospital.  My throat hurt.

On February 25, I had 2 kidney stones removed, one from each kidney. And stents were put in place. The stents made me feel very uncomfortable and more importantly made feel I had to use the bathroom every 20 to 30 minutes. Thus, I hardly ever left the house, except to walk Freddy–and Susan and I didn’t enjoy a night out at one of our favorite restaurants.

Poetic interlude:

March is the month of expectation, 
The things we do not know . . . 
—Emily Dickinson, American poet (1830-86)

I had my 2-week post procedure consultation a few weeks ago with Dr. Z. As anticipated, the doctor confirmed that all of the high grade T1 cancer tumor was removed from the outer bladder. Further, the bladder itself was cancer-free. This is indeed very good news. 

Since recurrence of cancer of the bladder is very prevalent, Dr. Z recommends that I have BCG therapy. It is a standard and non-invasive auto immune treatment for bladder cancer that uses a weakened form of the tuberculosis vaccine to stimulate the immune system to attack cancer cells in the bladder. Delivered directly into the bladder after tumor removal, it helps reduce recurrence and progression. It will start in a few weeks; once a week for 6 weeks. It is done in the office, by a nurse that Dr. Z calls the urethra whisperer [I guess every profession has its own humor] and takes about 30 minutes.

Once I get through this treatment, I will resume a regular schedule, every 6 months of ultrasound test for kidney stones. This is an important screening as it was from a routine ultrasound that the mass was first detected on the bladder. 

So, why the daffodils? Because it is Spring. A time of rebirth. And I do feel reborn, shining as a radiant light in the world.

A final thought. Routine testing is important.

Here is a photo of Susan and I out for dinner after my procedure consultation; our first time out since before Christmas. Thank God for Susan!!!